I know you are for me....

Tonight at church, Kari Jobe led an entire service of worship.  It was simply amazing and I could feel the presence of God.  As she sang the song "You are for me," I began reflecting on those lyrics and what they really mean. I believe with all my heart that God is for me. God is always on our side and knows what is best for each of us.  But today was a hard day emotionally and I am left wondering why life has to be so challenging, so heartbreaking, so difficult, so painful.

Today, my daddy had a procedure performed at a nearby hospital.  As I drove to the hospital and found a park, I was overwhelmed by all the memories that came to my mind and flooded my heart. Just seeing this one hospital almost makes it hard for me to breathe because I have ten years worth of memories, emotions, tears, laughter, frustration, and love invested into that place.

It is the hospital where I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease ten years ago. I remember entering the main doors of the hospital hardly able to walk. Clinging to my parents' hands praying that someone could tell me what was wrong with my body.

It is the hospital where my mommy nearly died nine years ago.  Where my daddy, sister, and I visited her every day and sat in the waiting room for hours and days and weeks on end just to go hold her hand in the intensive care unit. Just the three of us holding vigil and praying that the woman we all loved would pull through. It was just the three of us staying strong for one another and my mother until she was strong again.

It is the hospital where we took my sister last July when she suddenly fell ill.  She was admitted to the same intensive care unit that my mom occupied eight years earlier.  It was the same waiting room that my daddy, sister, and I sat waiting for my mommy.  But this time the tables were turned and it was my daddy, mommy, and I praying for my sister. It is the hospital where she passed away and went to Heaven. It is the last place I saw her beautiful blue eyes look back at me and the last place I heard her precious voice. It is the last place I saw her alive. It is the hospital where we had to leave her body the night she passed away.  The hospital that the three of us had to drive away from leaving our hearts behind with Amber. Our lives forever changed.

Today was difficult to say the least. A deep reflection and reminder of years past. My family has been through so much together. Only the three of us understand the pain, the loss, the heartbreak, and the tears. I find comfort and love in my parents and my faith.

Lord, I know that you are for me................even when it doesn't seem like it.

Fretting, Frazzled, and Fatigued

These days my thoughts are consumed by all the wedding things I have left to accomplish and the small amount of time I have left before the wedding to get it all done. Planning a wedding, working a full time job and picking up extra shifts, fighting a horrible sinus infection with an already weak immune system, and making time for my friends, family, and the soon to be husband is just a tad bit stressful. There just isn't enough of me to go around.  I feel frazzled, fatigued, and I am fretting over it all!!

My brain is a constant chain reaction of things I need to do. Welcome to the brain of an overwhelmed bride!!

Wedding dress must be altered immediately-when is my reception dress going to come in and when will I have it altered?-who is going to do these alterations?- how much is it going to cost-why does everything cost so much?-why didn't I listen to my dad and just go to the courthouse?!- anyway, when can I schedule bridal portraits?-oh wait, this depends on when the dresses are altered so they actually fit-before I can have pictures made I need a hairstyle-figure out appointment times to decide on a wedding day hairstyle- then I need jewelry to go with my dress-where do you even begin to look for jewelry?!-I really need a tan, but I have no time to go to a tanning bed-what about my nails and makeup-we really need to register for the bridal showers I have in less than a month-what to register for?-what color towels do we really need for the bathroom-makes me think of a shower so back to the showers, I need dresses for those events-actually I need dresses for everything (rehearsal dinner and honeymoon)-I need bikinis for the honeymoon-wait I still need a tan to look good in those bikinis-I need thank you cards to write thank you letters-I need to order napkins for the reception-I need to finish the wedding favors and bridesmaids gifts-we need champagne flutes to drink from-ceremony music!!-I have no idea!-I need a pianist!-I have to design the programs but can't do that until I have music-I need to order the unity candle and a memorial candle for my sister-terrible, painful reminder that my sissy will not be present on my wedding day-horrible reality that makes me want to scream and makes me even more frazzled!!-this makes me think of the florist because he also did the flowers for her funeral-I haven't met with the florist yet!-I need flowers for the cakes- I need to let the cake lady know I changed my mind about the grooms cake-need to take her the picture of the one I now want-we need more seating at the reception-I need to know how many chairs so I can order the chair ties-we need to choose songs for the reception!  The list in my head goes on and on! 

I know a wedding is all about marrying the one you love and not about getting caught up in these crazy details, but right now these details are driving me nuts!!  Soon this will all be a distant memory and I will only have this post to serve as a reminder of  the craziness of it all.

Engagement Pictures

I thought I would share some of our engagement pictures that we had made in November. The pictures were taken by Jerrod Brown at Camp Sumatanga and downtown Attalla.

Wedding Book

My wedding book arrived this week!  I ordered it at the bridal show in January from Alan's Invitations. It immediately caught my attention because it's not the standard white leather guest book that you commonly see at weddings.  I love choosing wedding items that are personalized and creative.

The front of the guestbook.

It has our monogram in brown on an ivory background with a matching brown ribbon.

Note, these are not the colors of the wedding.  They are, however, the colors of my house so that we can continue to display our wedding book after the wedding is over.

- my mommy's idea and a good one I must admit!

The book is filled with pages to document all the details of the wedding

and the guests who attend.

And you all know how I love to coordinate!  So I had to get the matching monogrammed pen!

You may be wondering why I chose a J instead of W for the pen.  The book includes pages for bridal shower guests to sign their names so I will take the pen along with the book to those events. It didn't seem appropriate to use the initial of his last name before we are married. We both share first names that begin with J so this pen can be used at showers and will still be appropriate for the wedding. That seemed more reasonable!  Yes, only I would think about these things!!!!

Save the Date

Addressing, stuffing, sealing, stamping..... Whew we have been busy sending out our save the dates!!

For those of you who are not familiar with the save the date concept, here you go.  Save the dates are notifications of a summer wedding so that guests who plan on attending the wedding can schedule their summer vacations accordingly while saving the date for our big day.  A formal invitation follows a couple of months later.

The idea behind the save the date is simple, but the process of creating a save the date is not so much! Most of the choices available are cards with standard colors.  Of course, I didn't like any of those options. Fortunately, my fabulous wedding photographer brought in a graphic designer to create a save the date just for us!!   The graphic designer used the wedding color (purple), my favorite engagement picture, and lots of pretty scroll work to design a magnet. 

This is our save the date magnet!!!

I hope all of our guests like it as much we do!

Valentine's Day

Before I met my prince charming, Valentine's day was never a holiday I enjoyed. That's probably because I was a single gal for so long!  For years, I referred to Valentine's day as Single Awareness Day (SAD) because the holiday draws attention to all the single girls wishing for a soul mate.  What a day to build a girl's self-esteem!! Fortunately, God is good and delivers your soul mate to your doorstep when His timing is right.

I am so grateful to have finally met my soul mate. We had a wonderful Valentine's day together. I received my first surprise when I arrived at work on Friday. A package had already been delivered for me! I opened the package to find this box.

 When I opened the box I found 9 little chocolate frogs!! So cute!!

The one in the middle must be the prince because he is the only one wearing a crown...

On Valentine's day, we started our day by attending church followed by a yummy lunch at Tavern.  We arrived home just in time for a dozen red roses and a teddy bear to be delivered at my door!  

 

 Beautiful!!!

So sweet! Prince charming and I spent the remainder of the day resting, relaxing, watching the Olympics, and enjoying one another's company. Absolutely perfect!! I simply couldn't ask for more.

 

Creating Heirlooms

As I have mentioned before, there are gazillions of details to think about when planning a wedding.  My latest concern has been finding a knife to use when we cut the bride's cake. Of course I could go buy a brand new knife, but wouldn't it be more meaningful to use something that belonged to my parents?  

After suggesting this idea to my mommy, she immediately went to find the cake knife.  It still has the ribbon and flowers from their wedding day nearly 33 years ago!! Now the plan is to have my parents' monogram and date engraved into the knife. After our wedding, my fiance and I will have our monogram and date engraved too.  We will start a new tradition and pass the cake knife down for years to come creating a family heirloom.